I feel like that I am in a hole that was dug by someone else and they are still digging it. I seem to just keep getting deeper and deeper in it and I feel I never will be able to escape this nightmare of a life I am now living. It is so deep if my tears keep falling I will drown from despair and depression. I can say without reserve and with deep conviction that I hate my life. I am starting to hate it more than I fear death itself. I have to start debating now which is worse. Living and disguising my pain or get rid of my pain by getting rid of me. Each second of time that passes is like a razor cutting deeply across my wrist. Each minute that slowly expires is like a drop of my blood hitting the mud.

Some people treat me like I am a dumb robot who needs no food, sleep or love. They use me like I am a machine made to be used for their own personal enjoyment. Like the famous tin man with no heart they think I have no feelings of my own. They give me very small amounts of oil, or as they say money, to grease me to do an overabundance of work. Like an idiot I take it with a smile and go do more than they ask me to do. I just keep wishing and praying for something, anything good to happen to me or one of my dreams to come true. Like always of course they never do.

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