Wake

This night is a cold one as I wait in the bridal chamber of death awaiting its arrival. I can smell the sweet flowers arranged around me. I remember the long ago memories I once held close and dear to my heart. The love I missed haunts me like the ghost I will soon become. My breath is coming far and fewer in between each other. The lingering and flickering candle lights are nearing the end of their wicks. As each one slowly goes out the chamber is getting darker and darker. I can barely feel the dropping dew from the eyes around me as they fall upon my face. A shutter of coldness travels slowly through my dying nerves as they to are extinguishing like the candles. The weeping I hear starts to sound like distant echos in a forgotten cave.

“Is this it?” I think to myself.

“Is this what I have been dreading for so long? The peace I feel now far outweighs the pain I have felt my entire life. It is like falling into a deep sleep of tranquility. No pain and no worries anymore only solitude and peace.”

As I look up I see a dark outline of a long ago familiar face that I once loved and I like to think loved me. It was a time, the only time, I was relatively happy about myself and my life. I could only love her from afar and could never tell her of my love. I knew she did not feel the same and never could love me because I was who I was and who I was destined to always be. She was only in my life for a very short time but I always remembered her and loved her and her only. She was my one and only.

“What is that in her eyes?” I thought, “It could not be”

There was a tiny tear rolling down her cheek that fell softly on my forehead as she bent down to kiss me. If only I could feel how her lips felt as she kissed me.

As the last candle went out I tried to speak but my brain would not let my words escape my mouth.

I could only think of the words that I wanted to yell, “Why….?”